Friday, 11 February 2011

Cold Feet

Gonna pass on this man, I thought I pulled. Told me best mate, he’s all hers, if she fancies a crack at him. She was not amused.

Just when I thought I was on me way to getting meself back in the saddle, so to speak, I got sidelined in favour of a game of footie.

Now, me best mate, who happened to save me from a death defying miserable life, is not only a willing slave to an entire pitch of fully grown men chasing a ball, she’s also really very clever, too. She knows how to explain the offside rule without condiments. Apparently, it’s not where the players are when the ball comes in to play, it’s where the players were when the boot went in! No skidding! Well, if a man wants to come calling, he best leave his boots outside, cos I don’t plan on clearing up after him or keeping him long enough for his footwear to get nicked from me doorstep.  

Anyhow, back to me dabbling with cupid. I figured me mate would be a much better match, in more ways than one, for this young stud. Luckily for me, she knows me better than I know meself, and she gave me a severe lecturing, steadfast and to the point, simply stating that I pull meself together and go get…

Yer see, all I really, almost definitively, really want is a bit of friendly, loving company from time to time. The time to time being: a few hours at weekends, occasional holidays and high-days, when all unhealthily attached men are safely off their expense accounts, and at home playing DIY. Believe you me, when you’ve admitted you’re unhappily married, going through a break-up, or “Just Divorced” you become a roaming beacon for every frustrated male on the entire planet.

Ma simple needs mean I no longer have many expectations, and I’ve said adieu to me furry tail dreams which have long since docked in a far off fantasy port. However, that doesn’t mean I wanna be a side order or sit around in an Argos style queue waiting fer me number to come up.

So… me current standing point is this: when I’m ready, willing and stable to jump in, I don’t just want a game, I want “it”

… and when I want “it”, 

I want “it”



  1. Then don't take 'no' for an answer!

  2. Hmm, well whatever all that's about, I'm glad you got it off your chest. Don't mind it being as clear as mud to me, so long as you know what direction you're going in.

  3. This sounds like something that transpired between Miss Brandi and I just recently. =) Its good to have good friends though that understand things like this. Good luck in your continued man hunt.

  4. Yeah, and waxing me chest was a complete waste a time, Valance!

    Erm, I wouldn't say I'm on a man hunt, as such. It just seems that for a brief while I get the odd one, or two, land in me lap, and I don't know what to do wi 'em! I'm learning, though. Next time round, the minute I get the come-on, I'll whip 'em up to perch before they get so much of a snifter of a game elsewhere!

  5. 'Yeah, and waxing me chest was a complete waste a time, Valance!'

    Never mind, just look on the bright side. Waxing your ass would have cost you a whole lot more.

  6. Me ass use to be the only asset I had. Unfortunately, it crashed during the gravitational pull of middle age!