All Hallows' Eve

Here we go again, tis the night for ghouls and ghosties, four feet short or wide, to walk the streets touting for their annual sugar fix.

I know it’s another commercial marketing ploy to get consumers buying a load of old tack, but quite frankly, I prefer Halloween to a lot of other notable calendar dates. You see, Halloween has become a time for parties and dressing up for both kids and adults, alike, with everyone having to make an effort to get off their backsides if they want a little treat or two. Unlike Christmas, no hobgoblin has ever sat at home, to my knowledge, waiting for an all singing and dancing computer gaming machine to land in their laps, nor have I witnessed devil fairies throwing a tantrum because the latest mobile phone, complete with internet connection, hasn’t slipped into their pumpkin goodie bags. At Easter everything seems to get dipped in chocolate, ooohhh - what a treat, but at Halloween the trick is the delusion of disguise. Is there something good or bad behind the masked crusaders who come knocking at our doors searching for gaudy coloured confectionary? The truth being, that no one really knows what lies below the surface of anything until they look.

Traditionally, All Hallows’ Eve is a time to remember family and friends who have departed this mad and crazy world. Tonight, I’m thinking about all those I’ve ever loved and lost, be they dead or alive. You see, everyone who has ever crossed my path, and left a mark, has helped me be the person I am today. All I can do, in return, is hope that each and every one of them is happy and at peace, wherever they are.

Happy Halloween

AWOL

Where have I been? Well… not very far, in body, but my spirit has certainly travelled a long way, that’s for sure.

Life dealt me a bit of a blow, a couple of months back, and knocked the steam completely outta me sails for a wee while. Not really had the inspiration or the urges to write, either, and each time I thought I was back on me feet summit would happen to knock me off track, again. It’s been said, many times before, that in times of crisis you find out who your true friends are. Well, that’s absolutely true, and I’ve certainly found mine.

Only just started to feel an inkling of creativity trickle through, not that I’ve been doing bugger all, but I really did need the time to catch up on some much needed sleep and clear thinking. What’s done is done and without a good kick, where it hurt, I probably would have stayed stuck in someone else’s rut for many months, if not years to come. Now I’m finally on track, again, I’m trying to think of each day as it comes and not worrying about where I’m going. No goals or ambitions, just living in the now!

The eyes - They see

Your eyes captivated me

Not beady, nor seedy

A sight to behold

If only I could see

The beauty you saw in me

I'm not really a poet, but I do like to play with words. Do the eyes really see all that is claimed to be? I'm not really sure they do.

JJ’s Highland Adventure.

Ok, I said I wouldn’t join anymore websites, but I have.

Whilst pondering over an out of date job vacancy, I had an explosion of imagination and have relocated one of my ongoing projects to the highlands of Scotland. As I’m in no position to go trekking north ‘o the border, right now, I’ve found me an online community of Scots folk. All seem friendly enough and hoping they’ll allow me to play a while and reconnect with ma roots. The family sort, not the hairy kind. Although, there’s a few “wil an gyte” characters lurking in the shadows. That’s “wild and crazy” to those not acquainted with the Doric dialect. Have the dictionary and able to travel by mind and spirit, if not in person.

So that’s my summer vacation all sorted…

Today my fortune cookie says: “Your most memorable dream will come true”. Not seen this one before and considering a recent dream, it’s a very nice thought.

Man for Hire

Last night, whilst eavesdropping on a conversation, I overheard two girls talking about a phone call one of them had received from some sexy bloke they’d both met. Anyway, to cut a long story short, this bloke called saying that he’d come over, do a strip for them and their friends, and follow it up with a drink whilst everyone took pictures of him. Sounds like a pretty nice bloke, don’t yer fink? All in all, about thirty minutes of this man’s time would cost a mere one hundred and twenty pounds. What a bargain between ten of them was the conclusion to their conversation.

Can you believe this girl? She thought it was amazing that he’d even called her… Der! Never heard of cold calling, I guess. Although, can’t imagine any man in his line of business doing anything in chilly conditions.

Young girls giving their numbers out to professional strippers… whatever next!

Father’s Day

As its Father’s Day, on Sunday, I’m going to take me Mother out for a drive. Not just because ma Dad is no longer here, but because, if he was, he’d appreciate the idea of getting the old girl outta the house to give him a bit of peace and quiet.

It’s been a few years since ma Dad passed away but it hasn’t stopped me having a wee chat with him when the need arises. In fact, I guess I talk to him more now than when he was alive. A bit ironic really, but time and space no longer divides us, just the lack of a physical presence. It’s a great comfort knowing he’s up there looking over me, of which I appreciate, and that’s why I’m taking me mother out. It’ll make it easier for him to keep his watchful eye on the both of us.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. God bless you. x

Creativity held to ransom

Today my fortune cookie says: "Emphasize your own creativity." That’s easier said than done!

Sometimes the cogs of creation seize up and no matter how hard you bash out the ideas they’re never gonna make any sense if there’s no heart and soul in the development.

I’ve discovered over the years, and with hindsight, that I can write when I’m sad, but not when I’m totally miserable. It may come as a surprise to many who think they know me, but my life has not been a particularly joyous one since taking up writing. Not sure what the score would be if I was ever truly happy.

A day away or a competition can bring on a tidal wave of new ideas, and a temporary excitement, but every possibility needs nurture and momentum to fuel the creative process. Sadly, my momentum seems to have got up and gone, and the nurture cupboard has been stripped bare with an ongoing matrimonial saga that should have come to an end long ago.

So how does all this affect emphasizing my creativity? Well, In front of me I have four very rough drafts, potential entries for a short script competition. There’s just over a week to decide, complete and post an entry. The decision, alone, is a tough job when the wannabe writer has lost her heart and is being held to ransom by the pessimism of a lost and deluded soul.

A life between birth and death

It’s a mad, mad life between birth and death. The only thing we can ever be certain of is that one day, whether we like it or not, our bodies are going to give up on us. I was reminded by this fact not so long ago by a pal who’s trying to cling onto her body parts that are a little worse for wear.

When I fall out of my sack in a morning, and yep, I do fall out, everything aches. It takes a good hour before all me bits and pieces are functioning in a relatively ergonomic fashion with the environment. Once I’m off the floor, and in the shower, the day can begin.

One thing I’ve learnt, though, is that life is much more than what we can physically have, see or hear. The people who cross our lives and touch our hearts aren’t always as visible, or known, as the houses we live in, the cars we drive, or the places we work, but they often mean more by helping us evolve into the person we will one day become. That one day, is today, because yesterday is history and tomorrow never comes.

Stand-up Comedian v Stand-up Medium

I’ve never really wanted, or thought for that matter, about getting up on stage and making an arse of meself, but a recent proposition has got me thinking.

A relative, rather forcibly, suggested that I should have a go at stand-up comedy. The fact that she had been drinking was irrelevant and considering the time the whole bizarre conversation took place it could have been taken as an unfortunate nightmare. Still, after a few hours sleep, some of what my cousin said did seem to make sense. Getting up and performing would be an ideal opportunity to test my ideas and characters in front of a live audience.

As a developing medium I regularly get up on an Open Platform night, in church, and give short demonstrations of my mediumistic skills. A comedy act in itself, really, where I’m involved! The “congregation” is fully aware that I’m still developing and of course, due to current legislative practices, such services have to carry a disclaimer of being an experiment. That’s a bit different to an audience looking to be entertained, but then that’s where the nerve hit…

Why is it that TV programmes involving my belief system and communication with the spirit world have to be labelled as “entertainment purposes only”? They’re not always entertaining and Spiritualism is a recognised religion. This got me seriously considering the proposition and confronting my own fears. Could I get up on stage and reflect a light hearted approach as to the possibility that there may be more substance to this form of new age entertainment? Not that I want to preach, but it’s something I could talk about. In a comedy club I wouldn’t get told off for using naughty words like incontinence and bugger, or have to worry about my teachers’ concerns about me flirting with the dearly departed. No joke, dead or alive, the presence of a tall, dark, handsome stranger gets me going every time. Just as well my faith appreciates good humour and doesn’t condemn sinners. Life is a learning experience and we all have our own unique paths to follow.

I’ve been mulling this over all day, and it seems this could be a way of testing a theory I have. Not given a definite answer yet, and will need to consider the material very carefully, but I’m given it some serious thought all the same.

Kaos brought to a close in 4" diamante sandals

Writing creatively is a funny old past time. Sometimes you never know if the inspiration is going to last, or whether the effort is worth all the pain.

Last month I put my stumpy fingers forward, hammered a keyboard to death, and churned out a script for this year’s British Short Screenplay Competition, my fourth consecutive attempt at this prestigious competition run by Kaos Films. Unfortunately, last year’s entry only got as far as the first round, a drop from the previous two years second round slots. That was the start, I guess, of the stresses and strains of the mad, mad world of a global corporation taking a toll on my creativity. Why oh why, did they have to come along and “acquire” one of the nicest, friendliest companies I have ever had the privilege to work for?

Anyhow, I was convinced this year would be a non-starter for the annual Kaos/ BSSC challenge, but having the sheer audacity to take a giant leap of faith, changing my employment status, my determination to create was soon restored. This year’s entry was posted with only a few days to the final deadline, and to celebrate, I bought myself a brilliant pair of 4" diamante sandals. Now that’s high, considering they’re only a size 3! The heels are absolutely gorgeous and worthy of a place in any trophy cabinet. In fact, they're so delicate, and fine, you could pick your nose with them. Sadly, there’s no impending occasion to wear these wonderful sandals, but have had a wee totter around the house. Before anyone says anything, no names mentioned, I did manage to walk more than two steps, and no, they didn't crack under the weight of my incredible arse, either.

When times are tough, you still got to reward yourself. And I did!

Wannabe writers and other characters

Just thinking on a picture created by Mister Valance.

“The Porch” immortalises many characters who aim to inspire, conspire or simply desire a world full of their homespun fiction. The picture features the calling cards of wannabe poets, short story writers, novelists and scriptwriters all searching for their niche. Some may never find what they’re looking for, others may have already found it, but I’m looking at the picture as a snapshot in history, and wondering… Who the hell are they really?

A Wander Into The East End Film Festival

My newest pastime is hanging out at film festivals. When I say that, I say it in a vague contemporary sense, of course. I happened to get wind of a festival in the East End of London and thought, what the hell, show me the way home!

Being brought up in the outer reaches of the East End, I thought this would be the place to meet like minded creative souls who would understand me. May have been a wee bit wrong there! Not sure I understand all the arty types and it seems people travel far and wide to attend these festivals. However, it could also have something to do with the fact that I’m not really cut out for social networking, on a “business” level. I’d rather keep work and play separate, to be honest. That way I can’t get confused as to an individual’s intentions!

Anyway, I got to see a few short films and take part in some very enlightening discussions on the art of film making. Met some interesting people, too, who either came to share their knowledge or, like me, came to be inspired.

Best Shorts, in my humble opinion:

http://www.animateprojects.org/films/by_date/films_2008/dam_goods

http://www.ladinde.fr/english/index.html

I don’t know where my journey of a wannabe scriptwriter is going to lead me, next, but I guess I better finish editing this script I have pending for a competition.

Ouch... I think I just landed on my blog

Hello, JJ Cocker here.

Thought I’d spread my not so dainty angelic wings and venture into the world of blogging. An attempt, I guess, to develop my creative streak and keep acquainted with the real me.

You could say I’m taking a career break, at the moment. Sliding between positions, trying to pay the bills, which is far better than being caught up in a global corporation that seems hell bent on driving humanity down a single vision of one size fits all.

My dream is to write stories for the screen that inspire and lift the spirit. If my work pleases some people, some of the time, I’ll be happy. If it makes people laugh, or cry, I’ll be thrilled to bits, and if it makes people open up their hearts and minds and think about creating a better world, my mission would be complete.